Funny Parts in the Pianist Book

The Pianist is about a real drama that happened during the Second World War.

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The Pianist Quotes

1. "I told her not to worry, you had your papers on you. If you'd been hit by a bomb, they'd have known where to take you." –Henryk Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

2. "What… what do you think you'll do while you're setting up your new line of defense? Wander around luggin' your suitcases?" –Wladyslaw Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

3. "I love to see a woman playing the cello." –Wladyslaw Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

4. "I am sick of cooking potatoes, potatoes, potatoes." –Mother, 'The Pianist'.

5. "2,000 and my advice is to take it. What will you do when you're hungry? Eat the piano?" Mr. Lipa, 'The Pianist'.

6. "Well, to tell you the truth, I thought it would be worse." –Father, 'The Pianist'.

7. "Excuse me, have you seen my husband, Izaak Szerman? A tall, a tall handsome man, with a little grey beard. No? Oh, excuse me. Goodbye, sleep well. But if you see him, write to me, yes? Izaak Szerman!" –Feather Woman, 'The Pianist'.

The Pianist quotes

8. "And the Germans claim to be intelligent! You know what I think, I think they are totally stupid. I have a family to feed. I spend half my time here, waiting for them to let us through. Why do they think I come here, to listen to the music?" – Man Waiting to Cross, 'The Pianist'.

9. "A bridge, a shmidge." –Man Waiting to Cross, 'The Pianist'.

10. "Ah, more Jewish police. You mean you want me to beat up Jews and catch the Gestapo spirit? I see." –Henryk Szpilman,'The Pianist'.

11. "Majorek used to be in the army. Brilliant man. The only thing I've got against him is he's not a socialist." –Yehuda, 'The Pianist'.

12. "They all want to be better Nazis than Hitler." –Wladyslaw Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

13. "What does my tie have to do with anything? I need it for work." –Wladyslaw Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

14. "Poland is no longer alone." –Radio announcer, 'The Pianist'.

17. "[crying] 20 zloty, that's all we have left, 20 zolty. What can I buy with 20 zloty? I am sick of cooking potatoes, potatoes, potatoes." –Mother, 'The Pianist'.

18. "[taking off his watch] Here, sell this. Food is more important than time." –Wladyslaw Szpilman,'The Pianist'.

The Pianist quotes

19. "[introducing Wladek] Majorek, this is the greatest pianist in Poland, maybe the whole world." –Yehuda, 'The Pianist'.

20. "If I'm going to die, I prefer to die in my own home." –Wladyslaw Szpilman, 'The Pianist'.

21. Wladyslaw Szpilman: I don't know how to thank you.

Captain Wilm Hosenfeld: Thank God, not me. He wants us to survive. Well, that's what we have to believe.

22. Wladyslaw Szpilman: No. Please. I'm Polish. I'm not a German.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: I'm cold.

23. Wladyslaw Szpilman: It's an official decree, no Jews allowed in the parks.

Dorota: What, are you joking?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: No, I'm not. I would suggest we sit down on a bench, but that's also an official decree, no Jews allowed on benches.

Dorota: This is absurd.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: So, we should just stand here and talk, I don't think we're not allowed to do that.

24. Father: What do you think? Should I, should I take Uncle Shiva's portrait?

Mother: Take it, don't take it, take what you like!

Mother: Can't you see I'm worried sick?

25. Wladyslaw Szpilman: They bombed us, we're off the air.

Henryk Szpilman: Warsaw's not the only radio station.

26. Wladyslaw Szpilman: I'm not going anywhere.

Halina: Good. I'm not going anywhere either.

Mother: Don't be ridiculous, we've got to keep together.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Look, look… If I'm going to die, I prefer to die in my own home. I'm staying put.

27. Regina: Quiet please. Quiet. Order, order! Please!

Halina: She's a lawyer, she likes order.

Regina:Listen, just listen. The watch we put under the flower pots and the money we stuff in the violin.

Father: Will I still be able to play?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Well… you'll find out.

28. Dorota: No-one play Chopin like you.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: I hope that's a compliment.

29. Henryk Szpilman: I thought you only recruited boys with rich fathers. Look at my father, look at us.

Itzak Heller: Yes, I'm looking at you, and that's why I'm here. Your whole family can have a better life. You want to go on struggling for survival, selling books on the street?

Henryk Szpilman: Yes, please.

30. Wladyslaw Szpilman: You've got to give me something to do.

Yehuda: You're an artist, Wladek. You do enough.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: I want to help. I want to do something.

Yehuda: You're too well known, Wladek. And you know what? You musicians don't make good conspirators. You're too… too… musical!

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